"I love you"

I am going to start this chapter with the disclaimer that I am recalling events that happened almost 2 years ago.  Certain memories have faded and certain words are lost, but the feelings are still there.  I just read Katie's post of how these events went down and I hope you will find it refreshing that my telling of the story will be very different.  

I will be honest here since the only people that read this are probably family members, but it is still hard to describe the emotional state of Garrett Facer at this time.  When I first got home from my mission, I dated a girl for 3 months, and I went all in and didn't receive the same in return.  The problem with going all in though is that you get blinded by what you want and lose site of what is best for you.  To make a long story short, I moved to Utah, tried to keep the relationship going, but ultimately we ended the relationship and I left wounded and skeptical and distrusting.  I didn't trust my own feelings, and I was skeptical of girls intentions.

Fast forward to my courtship with Katie, and here I am in a relationship where I need to decide if I am going to trust myself, and another person enough to go all-in in a relationship again.  I had just admitted stronger feelings towards Katie by kissing her, and I felt like that was good enough.  I was content with leaving it at that.  I didn't want to go any faster.  

A few days after I kissed Katie for the first time she was going to go home for the weekend to visit her parents.  I was strangely worried about the chance that she would meet up with her former boyfriend while there, so before she left I made a side question in the effect of, "if your mom asks if were dating, do you want to say yes?" Katie said yes of course and that was that.  I also didn't want to just leave it at that, so the day she left I decided to show Katie that I could dance, and taught her how to dance before she left.  

It worked because in our texts that weekend I could tell she was thinking about me, happy to be visiting family, but really wanting to be with me.  I solidified the whole thing by watching a movie with her when she first got home late Sunday night.  I don't think I meant for this to happen at the time, but I realize now that I was doing everything in my power to get Katie to go all-in with me yet I wanted to protect myself.  I was setting her up for the same failure that I had just endured less than a year previous.  

Apparently everyone in my family saw it though.  That is one thing I like about my family,  there is no messing around, and we will call each other out on our bologna.  I am sure that Hansen and my parents were already forming their opinions, but when Seth met Katie for the first time is when my family realized that I was expecting so much from Katie yet wanting to sit on the sideline.  I don't know what he saw, but one day Hansen, Angie, Katie and I went up to Salt Lake and had dinner and watched a Jazz game with Seth, and he talked with Mom and Dad afterwards about how I seam to be holding back.  

Katie said in her story that I said I loved her this same night, but I think it was just a few days later because I got a call from Dad shortly after and he questioned my intentions with Katie.  He said that from his experience with meeting Katie on Face Time, and from what Seth said, that I was not really committed to Katie and that she was all-in.  He told me that I was going to cause the same damage to her that I experienced if I didn't decide to either go all-in or end the relationship.  Of course I denied any fault because I tend to be a little pridefull but it really got me thinking.  I thought about it after that, and I determined that I wasn't making such an effort because I liked relationships, but because I really loved Katie.  I was experiencing unique feelings, I really cared for Katie, but I was afraid of laying my head out on the chopping block.  I was essentially keeping my foot in the doorway for a quick and harmless (to myself) escape.  I decided to act on my love for Katie and, although it took a little more time, jump in. 

We were in the basement just finishing up a movie or playing or whatever it was we were doing when I could feel the tension building up between us.  Katie had hinted in a couple ways that she wanted to say that she loved me, but was waiting for me to say it.  I don't know what did it, but I finally got the courage and told her that I had a secrete to tell her.  I teased her into asking me a couple times to tell her, when I finally said, "I love you, I love you, very very much" (in a Donald Duck voice).  She said that she loved me too, but wanted to know if I meant it or was just saying it because I new she wanted me to say it.  It was then that I looked at her at just said what I was feeling.  I told her I loved her, but that I had been hurt, and needed time to grow the deeper love that she wanted from me.  

That's all folks

The First Kiss

Well I guess it is finally time to tell the story of the first kiss.   To truly understand why I didn't want to kiss Katie right off the bat, you need to know a few things about me.  First is that I used to be a player.  I think It was towards the end of 8th grade..... (mom you might be hearing this for the first time, so I'm sorry in advance)  I went to a party with a good friend of mine, and I loved going to parties with him.  There were usually some pretty fun people to hang out with.  This time was not an exception, and there were two girls in particular which hung around me the entire night.  Before this night I had kissed girls before, and I thought I might kiss one of them, but they had something else in mind.  This is really silly and dumb, but I suggesting that instead of choosing on of them, they could share...... So we played a kissing game, and I spent some time kissing these two girls.

That story, along with the fact that by the time I entered my sophomore year of high school and couldn't count the girls I had kissed on my fingers or toes, made me start analyzing the way I viewed women.  Other than the way I handled relationships, I think I was respectful to women, but I realized that if I weren't careful, I was going to grow up not respecting women, and the wonderful relationship I would one day build with a spouse.  So it was my sophomore year that I decided to change my game plan, and only kiss girls when It meant something.  I can say that I made it through the rest of my high school career having only kissed one girl.  Partly because I dated the same girl for about a year, and during senior year I was focused on getting into BYU, playing varsity football, working, and preparing to go on a two year mission trip.  Side note... Norway was amazing (the place I served my mission).

Back to tell the story of our first kiss now.  I think Katie and I had been dating/hanging out for 3 or 4 weeks now, and I hadn't kissed her by this point because I was nervous.  I had starting having real feelings for her before, but I didn't want to start a relationship without being sure it was what I wanted to do. It was almost like I knew that this relationship had a lot of potential, and that I had to be ready to face the consequences.

The night started out with a little bowling with my brother Hansen and his wife Angie.  I had actually taking a different girl bowling with them when I first moved to Utah, and she didn't quite get Hansen and Angie's approval.  I knew going into this, that Katie might or might not pass the test.  We met at the Miracle Bowl, home of Wednesday night dollar bowling, and got underway.  I was really impressed with how quick Katie was to integrate herself in the group, and the transition of being a fun group of people took little to no time at all.

At one point another couple that both Hansen and I knew from the young single adult congregation that we both attended before getting married, showed up and joined us.  It was all fun and games until they started sharing stories about how after two weeks of dating, they were teased about getting married, and now laughed because it happened.  Well since Katie and I had only been officially "dating", not just hanging out, for 2 weeks, I tensed up at the story.  Surprisingly enough it wasn't because I was nervous about the idea or had any other thoughts, but I realized then, that I was nervous because I didn't want them to scare Katie away.  I knew we would date longer than this couple, and be engaged longer if anything happened, but I still didn't want them to scare her.  Katie took both that, and getting beat in stride though, and we had a fun time.
We also went to Hansen and Angie's after to play Cranium.  Hansen and Katie vs. Angie and me.  We lost, but I wasn't too worried about it.  Katie had to leave the night with at least some sort of victory.  Even though kissing her was probably victory enough.  On the way to taking Katie home, I decided I was going to kiss her.  I became motivated by the awesomeness she just is, by how she got along with my family, and by the realization I had about my desire for her to not get freaked out by the other couples conversation.

When we pulled up to her apartment complex, I was nervous.  I mean, how do you kiss a girl the first time so that its romantic.  I decided that I would just let it ride, and then my moment would arrive.  We hugged and then we talked, and then my nervousness escaped me when I started making fun of myself and my squinty eyes. Then I just did it.  I pulled back from a hug, looked into her beautiful green eyes for a few moments, told her how beautiful they were, studied them for a little longer, and then I "kissed her in a style Clark Gable would have admired".

Mystery Science theater

This entry might be pretty good.  The most stressful/exciting part of a new relationship for me is breaking the touch barrier.  Once I have found my niche I have no problem showing affection through touch, but the initial stages are soooo hard for me.  To continue on with this amazing story I have been sharing with you, I will tell you how I broke the touch barrier.

Katie really likes the mystery science theater movies, while I am more partial to the Riff Trax version of making fun of terrible movies.  Well we got talking about it one day, and she told me she had a Mystery Science Theater movie, and wanted to watch it (she was practically asking me out on a date but wanted me to say when=P).  So I gave her a date, but was honestly worried about how it was going to go down. The problem was that I lived in my grandparents basement, I loved it, but you never know how a girl is going to react to that, especially when you have 4 other cousins living with you.  Thankfully this night, Martin, Duncan, Jeffery, and Mitch were all either out, or in their rooms studying, or playing games.  Tonight I was going to get my cuddle on!

I picked up Katie, brought her to the house, and then started setting up the movie.  We did hit a little speed bump with my DVD player being programmed to play region 2 DVD's (so I can watch my European DVD's), so we had to reprogram it to region 1 before we could start.  We also decided to make some popcorn so we did have to make a trip upstairs to the popcorn maker.  Grandma was of course in her natural habitat (the kitchen, making food for either grandpa, a child, or a grandchild(we have tried to stop her, it doesn't work)), and was very excited to meet Katie.  Her eyes lit up, and was so eager to teach Katie and I how to make popcorn.  I was impressed again with how nice Katie is with everyone she meets, but I also noticed something else.  Like me, she does not like to be told how to do something she thinks she can already do.  She never said or did anything, but, as someone in her same position, I could tell it kind of irked her.

We were finally able to start watching the movie, and unlike most people, I don't let the awkward elephant just sit in the middle of the room, I talk about it.  So I sat like a foot away from her and told her that I was going to sit that far apart from her the entire time just to make it awkward.  I think Katie took me seriously at first, because she seemed a little bummed out.  We talked of course and at one point she took a couch pillow to snuggle with.  I had my plan, I was going to break the touch barrier with a pillow.  If I took it away from her I knew I she would fight to have it back.  In the end she didn't put up much of a fight, she just grabbed a hold of it, and when I wouldn't let go, just layed on my lap.  As time went by we eventually got into your typical head on the shoulders snuggling. She just fit.  I don't know how to describe it, but most people know what I am talking about.  Sometimes you try snuggling with someone, and it just doesn't seam right, or its good, or its OK.  Well Katie fit perfect.  I enjoyed just cuddling with her, and the movie for the most part.  It would have been better if I didn't have a voice in the back of my head questioning why I was trying to start another relationship again (I had shortly before decided to stop dating for a while, and just enjoy college single life).

After the movie, I took Katie home, and I bet Katie wishes that was the end of it........ When we got to her apartment, I got out of the car to say good bye, and gave her a hug.  Before this our hugs were pretty business like: get in get out.  Well this hug lingered a little, and was a little bit more like hey I'm starting to care for you.  I guess for Katie though it was like, "I want you!"  It might not have been that bad, but after we embraced she started to ask me if she could have a kiss!  I felt like a champion!  I didn't want to yet though, because I really like kissing, and I kind of made a habit of kissing for fun during my freshman year of high school.  Even though I liked kissing, I also like really having feelings for a girl, and I wanted to have those feelings for Katie before I kissed her.  That's what I told her, and it has worked out for me, so no regrets.

Plus it was only a week or two later that I finally kissed her.

The First Date - Mini Golf at Trafalga

When your as good looking as me, it is abnormal to be afraid of asking a girl out.  I was scared out of my socks.  Katie and I continued to hang out in class, and study together, but we hadn't gone on an official date yet.  One day we were studying chemistry together for a while, and then we went seperate ways.  It was Tuesday, and every Tuesday evening I had Scandinavian Chior.  After class I went home rested for a little and then played basketball with my brother Hansen.  Thankfully Katie still lets me play basketball on Tuesday nights.  I definitely have my sister-inlaw Angie to thank for that.  This Tuesday, however, was going to be a little different.  It was this Tuesday that I would go on my first date with the future Mrs. Facer.  

Katie was a little stressed and common sense said that tonight was not the best night for a first date.  Common sense was wrong.  Onething about Katies is that she works really well when she has a goal in sight.  While that is true for a lot of people, it is especially true for Katie.  That is why, when I got home, I sent her a message promising some miniature golf if she finished her homework by a certain time.  I proposed this idea under the ruse that I was helping her finish her homework faster with a little motivation.   I didn't care about her homework, I just wanted to hang out with her.  I also believe that I had to finish my homework.  Well..... I didn't.  

Katie Wore a pair of jeans that would become my favorite, and a blue shirt with white stripes, or was it a white shirt with blue stripes??  Whatever it was, I liked it.  Lets just say that Katie is a haughty with a naughty baughty! 

 For the first 9 holes, Katie kicked my butt.  I knew I wouldn't lose though.  It was at this point that I knew I had Katie at her most vulnerable stage.  So I made a wager.  Whoever lost, had to give the winner a piggy-back ride to the car.   Katie foolishly accepted.  I bet you can guess the outcome.  Yup, I kicked her butt.  By a whole two points.  She took it like a champ though, and I got to enjoy a effortless ride to the car.  

I decided that I wasn't going to drag the date out, and that I wanted to leave Katie curious.  So I tookher home.  Wetalked about how much fun we had, but that was about it.  I dropped her off at her appartment, gave her a hug, and then went home. I didn't give her a kiss even though we had hung out a lot before our first date.  I actually didn't give her a kiss for a while after this date.  The forbidden fruit is always the sweetest.  

Crayon Art

To be completely honest, I thought that Crayon Art should be chapter 3 of the Facer Adventures.  I will listen to my wife's council though, and write as though it happened before our first real date.  It may have been, but I don't think so.  I do remember that the whole Crayon art thing was last minute though.

It will become evident as Katie and I share our experiences that Martin (my cousin) played a pretty big role in our relationship.  He didn't really influence with advice, but he made it possible for me (and Katie I think)  to keep my identity.  Often when two people date as quickly and as serious as we did,  you see them lose their personal interests.  Over time this will create a problem in relationships, and a once awesome relationship becomes poisened and dies.  

One night Martin told me that he was going to hang out with some girls he met while on his two year mission trip.  I agreed to come and I think that while we were on our way I invited Katie, and we picked her up.  We got to the girls' apartment, and quite honestly sat there for a while.  This gave me ample time to compair Katie to these other girls, and think in my mind.  "Katie wins, hands down, Martin can do better".   I texted Martin at one point and we were trying to think of a way to get out when someone had the idea that we should make some crayon art.  Now I'm not talking about your typical 3 year old drawing, but using a hair dryer to melt the crayons on some canvis. 

Now anyone who knows me, knows that I am a very competative person.  Im sure people can tell that I'm competative even when I am trying not to be.  I Just know what I am capable of, and that I have been very blessed by my Heavenly Father.  I can do pretty much anything.  

This is important to the story because Katie is amazing at anything she touches.  Well art is no exception to that statement.  I always have thought I was pretty creative with art, not the best skilled wise, but original.  So I obviously thought that I would impress Katie with my art skills.  It only took a few minutes for me to determine that I'd better just accept defeat.  Katie was way out of my league.  In my defence, to this point I barely knew the girl, she was still on BYU's Lacross team, she was gorgeous, and a way better person than I could dream of being (she still is all these things of course).

We had a fun night, and even though I though she was out of my league, Katie always made me feel like a million bucks.  It is the attribute I love most about her.  She is kind, and never makes people feel bad.  To this day, it is litterally impossible to be sad around Katie.  I decided after this date that I was not going to stop talking with this girl, and I was going to date her.  I honestly had memories of my mission president talking about sparrows. It was one of his lifes phillosophies. In the winter a sparrow must eat 4 times his body weight per day in order to survive.  In that situation there is no coming home at the end of the day saying, "oh well, I tried".  In stead of eating, I needed to make this woman impressed and interested more and more every day.  I had no other option, or I was going to end up on the side of the road in no time.

So, I sent Katie a text at the end of the night.

"you looked beautiful tonight"

Courting Kathryn Paige Beal

My wonderful wife started a blog and encouraged me to read it.  As interesting and wonderful as it is, I find myself missing out on some of the details she has forgotten, so I am going to also tell the same story, but from a different point of view.  I hope you enjoy it.

1: The Bonfire

There was once this ambitious Freshman at college that wanted to be a Chemical Engineer, he was in advanced chemistry until he realized that he hated chemistry, so he quickly switched to the lower level chemistry class.  It was the best decision I (Garrett Facer) have ever made.  At first the move to the different class was uneventful, I moved from one class of 250 to another class of 250.  It was an easier class though, so I was relieved.  

I am the quiet type when it comes to school, and interacting with my peers.  I don't make friends at school, I go to school to get my education.  That's how I was in high school, and I figured it would work in college too.  The only problem with that, however, is the fact that the only girls I were dating were in my ward (a ward is a church congregation, I'm not crazy), and honestly dating in the ward is like peeing in the pool.  Its all warm and great at first, but then you realize your just sitting in your waste, and the more you do it, it just gets worse......  

So I got out of the pool, washed myself off, and started trying to meet girls at school.  One morning I was feeling particularly good about myself, and when I showed up to chemistry I sat on an empty row.  I told myself that a girl was going to sit on either side of me.  Well I was right, and strangely enough there was this one girl, who had the courage to sit right next to me when the row was still empty.  That is like peeing in the urinal right next to another guy when you have enough room for a 1 urinal gap, you just don't do it.  You won't ever hear me complain though.  Class was good, and we talked, and I figured I wouldn't see her again; however I was wrong.  We continued to sit next to each other, and I noticed how kind she was to everyone around her, how her eyes would change color in the light, how she had a pretty smile, how easy it was to talk to her, and how she had a slight tinge of red in her hair, that I really miss now that she has colored it....:(

We continued sit next to each other, and then we began studying together right after class (which was not my style of studying, and I think Katie knows now that I can't study in groups, I need to figure things out on my own).  I enjoyed our time together, and broke up with my girlfriend shortly after Katie and I started talking, because once you have found that treasure in the field, you sell everything you have and purchase that field.  To be honest with myself though, I was very guarded, and did not fully invest for a while.  I just got rid of my baggage. So with that taken care of, and waiting a courtesy week for my ex, I asked Katie if she wanted to go to a bonfire.  I got her number, and Wamo!  thats how it started.  

I picked her up on a Thursday night, and she brought her two roommates as wingmen.  I also had my favorite wingman, Martin, my cousin that lived in my grandparents basement with me at the time.  My kids will probably just call him Uncle Martin, even though were second cousins or whatever we are.  Anyway, we got to the bonfire, and we were sitting there for a while when Martin and I wanted to head over to the creamery to get some starbursts to roast.  When we got back Katie was on the other side of the fire, and was getting flirted with pretty heavily, so Martin and I ate Starbursts and talked with other people.  Awesome first hangout! Right?

We also did get Slurpees from 7-11 after, but I honestly don't remember much about that, except that Katie and all her roommates conveniently  forgot their wallets so I had to pay for everyone.  I didn't mind though. After Slurpees we dropped them off, and Martin and I went back home, and most likely played Halo 4 or watched a movie until some ridiculous hour.  I don't know why but Thursday nights roll around, and I stay up late, that's just how it is.   Well that's all folks!!